New Book
What keeps
desire alive?
The Formula of Desire explores the science, psychology, and emotion behind connection, why attraction fades, how intimacy evolves, and what it really takes to stay close over time.
Available: August 1, 2026
Part science.
part story.
Part guide.
A research-based approach to understanding connection and desire.
Early Praise
“
The Formula of Desire does something rare, it explains the deeper mechanisms behind attraction and intimacy rather than just giving advice.
It’s this combination of insight and application that makes the book so effective.
Alex Korb, Ph.D.
Neuroscientist, coach, and bestselling author of The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression
Every couple will face questions about desire at some point, but few know how to respond to them effectively. In The Formula of Desire, Dr. Anna Elton offers a clear and practical path forward.
This is a book that couples and clinicians can return to again and again.
Barry W. McCarthy Ph.D.
Emeritus Professor of Psychology at American University
The Formula of Desire is a sophisticated, accessible roadmap for understanding how love evolves and why desire changes.
It reframes desire not as something that fades, but as something responsive and rebuildable.
Rachel Needle Psy.D.
Director, Modern Sex Therapy Institutes
Through real-life scenarios, Dr. Anna Elton brings to life how couples navigate desire, emotional distance, conflict, and the continuum of play.
Insightful and nuanced, this is a valuable resource for couples at any stage in their relationship.
James C. Wadley, PhD, LPC, CST-S
Professor, Lincoln University
Editor-in-Chief, Journal of Black Sexuality and Relationships
The Formula of Desire is insightful, practical, and offers couples a powerful new way to understand and restore intimacy.
Anna Elton dismantles the myth that passion simply fades in long-term relationships.
Laurie Mintz, PhD
Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist; Emeritus Professor, University of Florida
Author of Becoming Cliterate and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex
Assessment
Discover Your
Relational Desire Score™
Every relationship has a measurable pattern.
The Relational Desire Score reveals where yours stands and how connection, intimacy, and emotional safety measure up against stress, distance, and unmet needs.
The Wave of Desire
Why attraction changes over time.
Desire isn’t static. It’s a wave. It moves through phases shaped by biology, connection, life stress, and the stories we tell ourselves about our relationships.
The Three Selves
The Me, We, and Us
Balance who you are as an Individual, as a Couple, and as Family, the foundation for sustainable intimacy and connection.
The Relationship Shift
How relationships change over time.
Relationships don’t collapse overnight. They move between emotional zones shaped by stress, meaning, memory, and unmet needs.
About Anna Elton, PhD
Clinical Sexologist
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Her work challenges the idea that fading desire is inevitable. Instead, she argues it’s predictable, and with the right tools, reversible.
“Curiosity is the most underrated aphrodisiac in long-term relationships.”
— ANNA ELTON, PHD
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